Started to see them
And they’re not pretty,
Trauma but no unit
To fix this scarey shit
Why did I turn on
This dream mode again?!
But don’t want to label
them that nasty N-word
Appear every night
But now I remember
In the morning light
It WAS only a dream
But why was it mine?!
Now I know why
I switched them off
Fuck off bad dreams
I just want to sleep
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Like two kids fighting for attention,
They both want my energy and focus
Both starved, fighting for growth.
My thoughts feed into their digestion
So the nightmares won’t die.
Should not have reflected on it.
The nightmare won’t get nothing
It cannot live within me.
I will feed the dream
That ending was happy,
I choose that ending..
Filed under Birmingham, blog, life, light, live, London, meditation, mindfulness, nature, Poem, poetry, uk, verse, Vipassana
Not had a bad dream in a while,
Maybe this is it.
It was crazy, think I cried.
A lot of poor people died
A tower fire in a modern city,
They can’t enjoy the sun today.
The leaders were lost and didn’t look sad.
Then people killed other people
Because they had a different skin,
Skin made different because of the sun.
Don’t hate people, hate The Sun!
People didn’t like other holy books,
So they attacked the believers.
They don’t have to read them!
If only Roald Dahl could have wrote them all,
He would’ve been a good leader,
In my dream I stood on a plug,
On the floor
And it really fuckin hurt,
I don’t feel physical pain in dreams,
So guess this isn’t a dream..
(Roald Dahl around 1939)
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The line between what is real
and what is not,
Has just disappeared.
On day one of a new life,
I must learn all again.
What are my skills?
Who do I love?
Who loved me before?
When I was a prick.
Am I really humorous?
Is my mind a myth?
The tests have begun,
I’m still good at golf.
The drives hit the back fence.
I can still join words together
But to what purpose?
More questions than answers.
An inquisitive kid,
On the first day of school.
Test me again,
I still think I’ll excel.
We all know “Love don’t pay the rent”,
But I’ve been living on a cloud
Where we paid no rent.
All we gave we was our energy,
Poured into a cloud,
Just me and a woman spending our new-found wealth.
Last night in my sleep, I was brutally attacked.
It felt like a very sharp ice pick,
I can’t be sure because I was not awake,
But it came from my head and struck my heart,
A reality so real, even in sleep.
The blood and something else came out of me,
Not the love because I know, that will never go,
An energy like that can’t be destroyed,
It can only transform into another form.
In my awaken reality, I walk on wounded,
thinking of that cloud and the golden sky.
My everything now hurts and there is no cure,
These words are etched with hurt,
I have no other ink.
Endless words flow out but I have just a small question…..why?
I’m sure of only this;
The reality didn’t bite because I felt it stab.
I lie here restlessly with my closed eyes.
So tired. Each minute takes me closer to sunrise.
Rolling from side to side like a wild lion in a pride.
Sleep evades my night. Something isn’t right.
I have worries and solutions that I must find.
I replay some events and thoughts on my mind.
Like a scratched disc in a dvd player.
That can never be fixed.
Wish I had a sleep-mode like the dvd player.
I wait impatiently for the rest to arrive.
The sleep fears my dreams, tonight I surmise.
My dreams are so dangerously epic,
They have no bounds.
A blueprint for my life with unattainable goals.
I yawn again as schemes lose their steam.
A single thought has turned into a dream,
As my mind surrenders it fight with the night.
Finally no longer am I waiting for morning light.
As my breaths draw heavy,
Time draws to an end.
I stop and reflect on
The last great dream I had.
Clear as daylight,
Not many great ones.
A joyous time in a faraway land.
My wife had a different face.
This face was happy to see me.
A little boy looked up to me.
Seemed like he needed me.
I held his hand across busy roads.
There I had a worth.
A future that was so possible.
I wanted it so bad,
And I got so very close.
It was a future too golden for me.
The dream remained just that.
I regret the reality even though
I fell in love with the dream.